What Gives? - Georgy:)

What gives - that is what I have been asking myself a bit recently. In this whole balancing thing it is hard enough to keep a good balance with quality children or family time, three days intense work focus and just the day to day running of the household, that when you throw much more on top of that or something like illness throws you out of wack it can suddenly feel like there are way too many juggling balls and they are starting to drop.

I have learnt talking to friends that everyone's focus on what is important in the whole juggle is different and so what gives and in what order varies but I have found that in most instances the first thing to go is 'me time'. We do often put ourselves last. Maybe ok for a while when push comes to shove but not for too long as then other things start to drop as a result. In my case it is often my health. So with this in mind on the weekend I took brief time out of a sick household to go shopping and bought some fabulous boots. I also managed a 30 minute bubble bath, well almost as near the end my two children came in to drop toys in the bath and just stare at me.

So what gave in my house on the weekend, general housework. A hard one for me as I like a tidy, clean home and so this is normally one of the last things to give, but seriously we were all too exhausted. In this state, finally self survival kicked in and I remembered what a doctor once said to me, 'you should try to have 30 minutes to yourself a day (I know not easy). If you don't look after yourself how can you look after others?'

Who takes the day off? _ Georgy:)

I have been reminded these past few weeks of one of the difficulties of having two working parents, especially when you have no support in the terms of grandparents (they are all interstate or overseas). Myself and my little boy have both been sick over the past few weeks off and on which is hard enough in itself, with sleepless nights and not much chance to recover. But the hardest thing after a few weeks of this was the question yesterday morning off who was going to take the day off to look after our son? We have both had a bit of time of work due to sickness recently (mine and the kids) and we are both busy at work which adds to the pressure.

In my case working three days a week also means that having one off is a higher percentage of my week. Also the problem for me is I have no sick leave left. With all these things thrown into the mix my husband took the day off. Lets hope this is the last one for a while as not sure what we will do if it continues.

On a positive note though I would like to take this chance to recognise my wonderful sister and friends that helped me out with the kids when I could hardly get out of bed (my husband was away interstate at the time). I am so grateful to have this support network.

Back to full time work - Beck:)

I survived….

Well I have been officially back in the fulltime workforce for a week. In the lead up, I can honestly say I was a bitch…I was so stressed and strung out about things that I was imaging to happen when I went back to work. I was worried about not being able to get out of the house on time in the morning, being up until all hours getting ready for the next day and then be up all night with my youngest who still doesn’t sleep through the night, even though he is almost one.

Well the week has come and the week has gone and there hasn’t been any apocalyptic moments, in fact quite the opposite. Each morning everything went to plan…did I forget to mention that I created a morning timetable for myself (I am a teacher what did you expect??). I was up, organized, kids up and organized and out the door at no later than 7.15 each morning…The organization gods were working with me all week. The evenings also went to plan, dinner, bath, bed (the kids that is). I was able to have Kinder bags, Daycare bags all packed and ready to go by the time I had my evening shower. My son for the first time in his short life started sleeping through the night (with a few little stirs - but pop the dummy back in and bingo!!).

I even got a little bit of study done. I will admit the study bit has fallen away a little. I don’t think it has anything to do with a time thing because I seem to have plenty of it (ask me again when reports and uni assignments are due at the same time). I actually feel I have more time to enjoy being a mum…I know…even I can’t believe those words are coming out of my mouth. I am loving my new job and for the first time in a long time I actually enjoying teaching – I feel rejuvenated and as a result the drive to get a piece of paper to do another profession has taken a back seat. But this job is only for Term 2 so I have to keep telling myself no you have to get this piece of paper so you have the option of starting a new career.

Back to enjoying being a mum, I believe I am one of those women who have to work to be a better mum…. Each night this week I have looked forward to coming home and seeing my beautiful children. I even enjoy watching 'Nick Jnr' with my daughter! I enjoy and appreciate their cuddles more. Their smiles, when they see me in the afternoon, melt my heart every time. I feel that by working I appreciate my time with them more…I have read several parenting books and they all say the same thing it isn’t the quantity of time you spend with your children but the quality of time…..I am now starting believe that this in fact true.

I feel I achieved the impossible - BALANCE in my life.

Breast Feeding - too much pressure

Beck

It seems to be constant, these comments by other mothers about how you must breastfeed. I recently read a quote from a women who said she left her Mothers group because she was the only one bottle feeding and was made to feel bad about that. As someone who is still traumatized from my failed attempt at breastfeeding my first child – to this day I am convinced that is was one of the major factors that lead to my post-natal depression, I find these comments very upsetting.

The pressure on mums to breast feed and breast feed only is enormous. In hospital we are inundated with pictures of angelic mothers breast feeding with ease. Then we are often faced with midwives telling us that failing breastfeed will result in your child not being as smart (or in one case a friend, who suffers with bipolar disorder and therefore not permitted to breastfeed due to medications, that she was artificially feeding her baby) – where do some women get off.

Why do some breastfeeding mothers feel that they can judge women who choose to bottle feed (for what ever reason and sometimes there is no choice) . Why are they even concerned, really? My bottle feeding doesn’t impact their child and according to some very dodgy research I am merely paving the way for their child to get into med or law school – really I am doing them a favour! So I guess what I am really trying to get at is why do women have to judge other women for ‘their individual’ choices?

Georgy

I agree with Beck, I wish women would stop judging. Putting so much pressure on women to breastfeed can actually be quite detrimental to the health of some mothers. Yes we all know that breast milk is preferable for the baby but not at all cost.

I breastfed my first child through four bouts of mastitis (one which landed me in emergency), all in the first three months of my babies life. In this case after about four months I did find the breast feeding experience a good one and breastfed until my daughter was about nine months and I had to return to work but during that period it had a huge impact on my mental health and my ability to do other things, even so I kept going because of all the pressure from others. My husband had to take a bit of time of work to help me.

With my second I again tried to breastfeed. He was a hungry baby, feeding every two and a half hours during the day, due to the fact he slept through the night quite early on. Soon even this wasn't enough and he got really unsettled. When he was about three months I got diagnosed with postnatal depression and it was strongly suggested by medical professionals that I stop breast feeding, so I did. Once on the bottle my little boy was more settled, he thrived and my health improved dramatically as well.

As my Mum kept saying, 'darling if you are finding the breast feeding that hard please stop. I had to with all three of you children and you turned out just fine.' Mum I am glad I finally listened to you. And she is right, maybe there is some credibility in those studies that say breast milk helps with IQ but in mine and my brother and sisters case we have all done very well in the academic area, so can't have effected us too much!

So I guess what I want to say from this, yes breast feed if you can, it has a lot of benefits for the baby, but if you struggle for what ever reason please don't be under pressure to continue and in the end it is your choice, what ever you decide to do.

Tired, clingy children - is gardening the answer? - Georgy:)

My daughter of late as been overtired due to lack of solid sleep (she has been having nightmares then coming into our bed for cuddles), resulting in her being just that little more clingy and constantly demanding my attention during the day.

By the end of the Easter weekend however we have a different child. She was so happy yesterday, has started sleeping better and as a result played a lot by herself or with her brother quite happily. She was also excited this morning about going to childcare and telling her friends about her weekend.

Why the change, I have asked myself as I really want to keep this child around? The main thing I can put it down to is gardening and being outside in general over most of the weekend. Together we weeded and started redoing our herb, vegetable garden. My daughter loved it and kept asking how she could help. Both kids also just seemed to enjoy being outside with us, running around, playing with their balls and picking leaves and flowers to go inside.

All in all we had a great weekend outdoors which has made for happy, relaxed children. As for myself I feel the same, though I am very stiff and sore from all that digging. At least I know I have done a good workout as well

The Easter egg thief - Georgy:)

Early morning Easter Sunday (very early considering that day light saving finished but the kids body clocks didn't change), my excited children ran out to see if the Easter Bunny had come. 'He has eaten some of the carrot look, Mummy, look' my daughter exclaimed, pointing to the carrot we had left on the back deck the night before.

So once the sun had actually risen and it was light enough to see, my two rugged up children, with myself and Daddy in tow (video camera at the ready) went outside to look for chocolate eggs that the Easter Bunny had left.

First stop the cubby house and low and behold the kids found four little eggs each and small torches all wrapped up together in heavy plastic casing - now this is key as we were soon to discover.

Next we all trooped down of the deck to what I refer to as the weed lawn. My daughter very quickly spotted shingy purple metalic wrapping indicating an Easter egg and rushed over to pick it up. To everyones surprise that is all it was, just wrapping. This was followed by more discovery of the same. Where were the chocolate eggs that were meant to be inside? We finally found the remanents of them at the base of a big tree in the back corner of the garden where we know possums live (well at least I hope it was possums and not rats).

To give my children credit, neither were that upset (they had already had so much chocolate over the past few days), my daughter was even a little excited and exclaimed, 'I can't wait to tell everyone at childcare, possums ate my Easter eggs.' And we heard her telling my sister later in the day 'we had an Easter egg wrapper hunt this morning' followed by a little giggle.

Sleep, where are you! - Georgy:)

When I was heavily pregnant with my first child I started to read a lot about babies and thought I understood about the lack of sleep but nothing can prepare you and nothing warned me that not only do babies not sleep but toddlers often don't either.

With a four year old and 20 month old now, I can't remember when I last had a really good nights sleep. Surprisingly with my second he slept through the night from 10 weeks old, unfortunately my daughter wasn't sleeping that well. Then when my little boy was about 10 months he stopped sleeping through the night and my daughter started again. It seems they have it all worked out with some tag team thing going - 'ok I am going to sleep through tonight so can you make sure you wake Mummy up, got to keep her on her toes.'

In the last week my little boy has started sleeping through the night again, four nights in a row (I know just writing this he will now stop but oh well) but my daughter has been coming into our bed at about three in the morning (big improve, so fairly happy). I started to think this is it we will have them both sleeping through soon but then my little boy was up half the night coughing the other night, while of course my daughter slept through.

Last night however they both actually slept through - only issue is we have been up since 4.50 am. Seems that my little boy will sleep through as long as he can get up really early to spend time with Mummy. Good thing we have a coffee machine, my best friend!