A mother’s guilt is never done……….

Hi my name is Rebecca and I am a guilt addict……. I blame my heritage for this affliction, on my mother’s side alone the family is Catholic and in the distance there is a Jewish connection. So when it comes to guilt I have the whole thing sewn up!

My current guilt ridden episode (I say episode because my life most of the time feels like a soap opera – I even live in a street not that dissimilar to Neighbours) is being caused by the whole notion of me returning to full-time work in four short weeks and missing time with my Little Man. I will miss time with my daughter too, but it isn’t so much a ‘time thing’ as it is a ‘milestone thing’. I was there for my daughter’s first crawl at 6 months, her first tentative steps around the furniture at 7 months and full on independence at 10 months. I was there to hear her say ‘mum’ for the first time. My Little Man is 10 months old and nothing like his sister, in that he is content to sit and watch the world come to him….Where as Greer, she wanted to go and get the world from the moment she came out. So my Little Man has four weeks to crawl (he hates tummy time and when on his tummy looks like a squashed turtle – so it is not happening any time soon!) and then can only take his first steps the June/July or September school holidays! As my shrink pointed out to me, while I was having a guilt trip in my session, “how many fathers see their child take their first steps? And is their role as father diminished because of that?” I guess not. I have to tell myself that I am returning to work so that we can buy property in the ever escalating housing boom that is occurring in Melbourne… I mean really when did a $700K property become an ideal first home buyers property????. But don’t get me started on the cost of living in Melbourne…seriously it is beginning to make living in London look like the cheaper option……..

So in a mere four weeks I will be juggling or trying to balance full time work, part time study, motherhood, wifehood, my guilt…. Oh and trying to squeeze in some time to be ‘me’…maybe between 3 and 4 am?