When at work, often think maybe I could do that extra day. I love being in the adult World were people know me before I was Mummy. Love coming into the wonderful City of Melbourne and out of suburbia, enjoying the buzz, getting my morning coffee in a relaxed manner and being able to drink it either deep in thought or reading the paper.
But when at home think gosh I wish I was a full time Mum. I love the more relaxed pace in the morning and not having to rush to childcare and the stress of having to get to work on time. Then at the other end picking up tired children who frequently throw tantrums on getting home and we start the whole evening routine just that bit later. Love having my time with the kids and playing silly games or making things with my daughter, lots of dancing and cuddles with my son and just watching them play. The relaxed pace when it is just the three of us pottering around the house.
But maybe just maybe having a bit of both is having it all, just have to stop wishing I had more of each!
Showing posts with label part time work. Show all posts
Showing posts with label part time work. Show all posts
Thursday, March 18, 2010
Monday, February 1, 2010
How do you do it?
'I don't know how you do it' - this is something I and B have had a number of people mainly women, say to us over the past few years and to tell you the truth, in my case I am not sure how I do it either - in a sort of strange brain fog, in straight survival mode is what I feel like saying - but instead I just shrug and say oh you know, like it is all under control. Well obviously they don't because otherwise why would they ask - how do you balance working in the corporate world with having young children and everything that goes with them.
Now some of you may have heard this catch phrase used a lot if you have read the book I don't know how she does it by Allison Pearson. The book is well worth a read for a laugh and I can relate a little but the book being English (and she has the help of nanny and a cleaner) and the extreme situation the lead works within is not what most of us experience.
Instead if you are like me, an Australian Mum working part time in the Corporate World (in my case technically three days a week) and with two young children in childcare you have slightly different balancing issues.
Or maybe you are like B who did return to work full time when her first child was 18 months. B quickly realised that working full time as a high school teacher and having a small child was a really hard gig – ‘I never got any time with my child as when I got home it was the mad rush to pick up from care, get dinner organised and then get her ready for bed...she wouldn't sleep in her own bed a whole other issue...and then I would sit down and do more hours of work to prep for the next day or mark papers...then there was the after school commitments.....year level information evenings, five parent teach interview nights (yes after working a full day we were expected to rock up and do five hours of back to back parent teacher interviews- and then turn up and teach the next morning)..it got a little too much so I decided to become a librarian! – Anyway now B is working hard towards that while on maternity leave with her second.
So why the brain fog in my case - my little boy has almost been continually sick since I started back at work. The impact of a one year old going into childcare at the start of Winter. So with the almost continual snot goes lack of sleep. Now sleep deprivation when I was at home in the early baby days was bad enough but when I have to then get up, get the kids ready for childcare and go into work where I am expected to have reasonable brain function and coordinate projects is somewhat of an issue. The other issue with the illness has been that my husband and I have ended up taking a lot of time off work. We unfortunately don't have the support of Grandparents (they all live interstate or OS) that some of our friends have. So not only were we exhausted but over this period experienced a bit of strain at work.
Now in the middle of Summer though I feel like I am coming out the other end with sickness and my little girl being four and my little boy now 18 months every thing is getting just that little easier. Maybe I will soon achieve the illusive week of the balance being just right. A week where none of us are sick, I spend good quality time with the kids, all the house work gets done and we have a great social weekend. Actually almost achieved that in the past week but did no exercise and really need a leg wax and a night out with the girls would be nice but almost there!!
Now some of you may have heard this catch phrase used a lot if you have read the book I don't know how she does it by Allison Pearson. The book is well worth a read for a laugh and I can relate a little but the book being English (and she has the help of nanny and a cleaner) and the extreme situation the lead works within is not what most of us experience.
Instead if you are like me, an Australian Mum working part time in the Corporate World (in my case technically three days a week) and with two young children in childcare you have slightly different balancing issues.
Or maybe you are like B who did return to work full time when her first child was 18 months. B quickly realised that working full time as a high school teacher and having a small child was a really hard gig – ‘I never got any time with my child as when I got home it was the mad rush to pick up from care, get dinner organised and then get her ready for bed...she wouldn't sleep in her own bed a whole other issue...and then I would sit down and do more hours of work to prep for the next day or mark papers...then there was the after school commitments.....year level information evenings, five parent teach interview nights (yes after working a full day we were expected to rock up and do five hours of back to back parent teacher interviews- and then turn up and teach the next morning)..it got a little too much so I decided to become a librarian! – Anyway now B is working hard towards that while on maternity leave with her second.
So why the brain fog in my case - my little boy has almost been continually sick since I started back at work. The impact of a one year old going into childcare at the start of Winter. So with the almost continual snot goes lack of sleep. Now sleep deprivation when I was at home in the early baby days was bad enough but when I have to then get up, get the kids ready for childcare and go into work where I am expected to have reasonable brain function and coordinate projects is somewhat of an issue. The other issue with the illness has been that my husband and I have ended up taking a lot of time off work. We unfortunately don't have the support of Grandparents (they all live interstate or OS) that some of our friends have. So not only were we exhausted but over this period experienced a bit of strain at work.
Now in the middle of Summer though I feel like I am coming out the other end with sickness and my little girl being four and my little boy now 18 months every thing is getting just that little easier. Maybe I will soon achieve the illusive week of the balance being just right. A week where none of us are sick, I spend good quality time with the kids, all the house work gets done and we have a great social weekend. Actually almost achieved that in the past week but did no exercise and really need a leg wax and a night out with the girls would be nice but almost there!!
Judgement Day
As soon as you announce you are pregnant, that’s it, you might as well wear a sign saying ‘walking target for unwanted advice, comments and judgements’. To make it worse these comments don’t only come from other mothers but people who have never had children, so really how would they know?
It starts with comments on what you should do during pregnancy to discussion about the birthing process – 'you're having an elective C section why'? To then following birth on - breastfeeding, sleeping, routines, dummies, tummy time…..schooling and the list goes on and on.
I found in my case I could handle most of this as I was strong on my decisions but the really hard judgement day hit for me when I returned to work.
‘Gosh I couldn’t go back to work as I couldn’t imagine putting my child in childcare’. ‘Aren’t your children a little young to be in childcare three days a week’. And on the other side, ‘I can understand the work, life, balance thing but I just don’t understand working part time’. Just to list a few.
The barrage of comments really affected me, especially when returning to work after my first, as I had the full on working mothers guilt of not be there for my daughter every day and then on the other side not giving work 100%. There were regular tears when I got home (more from me then ones from my daughter being left at childcare) and the constant thought of quitting work. I am glad I stuck it out though and returned again after a years maternity leave with my second. Two comments that helped me - one office working Mummy friend said to me ‘in my case working outside the home, helps me to be a better Mum when I am at home’ – and another said, ‘why feel guilty, Men never do’ – I do keep telling myself this and it helps, I have felt less guilt the second time around as I knew what to expect but it is still hard.
In B's case she went back to full time work when her litte girl was 18 months and so you can imagine she got a lot of comments especially the ones around 'I don't know how you do it.'
Beck is a high school teacher and while she was on maternity leave with her first child also decided to return to study as quickly realised that teaching and small children would be a really hard gig. She was proven right and there was little understanding. More about that in the next post - 'I don't know how do you do it.'
The other thing that really gets to me is that the majority of the comments were made to us were by other Mum’s. We are no saints but we don’t do this. You have no idea of reasons behind choices and in most cases I like to think they are making the best choice for their situation.
It starts with comments on what you should do during pregnancy to discussion about the birthing process – 'you're having an elective C section why'? To then following birth on - breastfeeding, sleeping, routines, dummies, tummy time…..schooling and the list goes on and on.
I found in my case I could handle most of this as I was strong on my decisions but the really hard judgement day hit for me when I returned to work.
‘Gosh I couldn’t go back to work as I couldn’t imagine putting my child in childcare’. ‘Aren’t your children a little young to be in childcare three days a week’. And on the other side, ‘I can understand the work, life, balance thing but I just don’t understand working part time’. Just to list a few.
The barrage of comments really affected me, especially when returning to work after my first, as I had the full on working mothers guilt of not be there for my daughter every day and then on the other side not giving work 100%. There were regular tears when I got home (more from me then ones from my daughter being left at childcare) and the constant thought of quitting work. I am glad I stuck it out though and returned again after a years maternity leave with my second. Two comments that helped me - one office working Mummy friend said to me ‘in my case working outside the home, helps me to be a better Mum when I am at home’ – and another said, ‘why feel guilty, Men never do’ – I do keep telling myself this and it helps, I have felt less guilt the second time around as I knew what to expect but it is still hard.
In B's case she went back to full time work when her litte girl was 18 months and so you can imagine she got a lot of comments especially the ones around 'I don't know how you do it.'
Beck is a high school teacher and while she was on maternity leave with her first child also decided to return to study as quickly realised that teaching and small children would be a really hard gig. She was proven right and there was little understanding. More about that in the next post - 'I don't know how do you do it.'
The other thing that really gets to me is that the majority of the comments were made to us were by other Mum’s. We are no saints but we don’t do this. You have no idea of reasons behind choices and in most cases I like to think they are making the best choice for their situation.
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