A mother’s guilt is never done……….

Hi my name is Rebecca and I am a guilt addict……. I blame my heritage for this affliction, on my mother’s side alone the family is Catholic and in the distance there is a Jewish connection. So when it comes to guilt I have the whole thing sewn up!

My current guilt ridden episode (I say episode because my life most of the time feels like a soap opera – I even live in a street not that dissimilar to Neighbours) is being caused by the whole notion of me returning to full-time work in four short weeks and missing time with my Little Man. I will miss time with my daughter too, but it isn’t so much a ‘time thing’ as it is a ‘milestone thing’. I was there for my daughter’s first crawl at 6 months, her first tentative steps around the furniture at 7 months and full on independence at 10 months. I was there to hear her say ‘mum’ for the first time. My Little Man is 10 months old and nothing like his sister, in that he is content to sit and watch the world come to him….Where as Greer, she wanted to go and get the world from the moment she came out. So my Little Man has four weeks to crawl (he hates tummy time and when on his tummy looks like a squashed turtle – so it is not happening any time soon!) and then can only take his first steps the June/July or September school holidays! As my shrink pointed out to me, while I was having a guilt trip in my session, “how many fathers see their child take their first steps? And is their role as father diminished because of that?” I guess not. I have to tell myself that I am returning to work so that we can buy property in the ever escalating housing boom that is occurring in Melbourne… I mean really when did a $700K property become an ideal first home buyers property????. But don’t get me started on the cost of living in Melbourne…seriously it is beginning to make living in London look like the cheaper option……..

So in a mere four weeks I will be juggling or trying to balance full time work, part time study, motherhood, wifehood, my guilt…. Oh and trying to squeeze in some time to be ‘me’…maybe between 3 and 4 am?

Phases - Georgy:)

One of my friends, a first time Mum often refers to me about things her little one is doing, asking 'have you experienced this, is it just a phase?' Most of the time as the very experienced Mum of two that I am (hmmm still refer regularly to my own Mum, books, doctor or my maternal health nurse, but still) I can comfortably say, yes been through that and it was a phase.

Even knowing this myself though, it is still hard to handle some 'phases'. My little boy at the moment screams whenever we leave him at childcare, when only a few weeks ago he would run in happily without a care in the World. My daughter did the same thing at a similar age, so know that he will hopefully soon grow out of it but it doesn't make it much easier. Every morning I drop him at the childcare centre I leave wanting to cry myself and struggle to go into work. I often ring a little later in the day just to check he is ok as he is so hysterical when we leave. I am always reassured that he calms down quickly and by the time we pick him up he is happily playing and often doesn't want to leave.

My daughter on the other hand is going through a coming into Mummy and Daddy's bed phase. She has done this a number of times for a period from the age of two and a half (funnily enough she never slept in our bed before this) but then suddenly stops and sleeps in her own bed again for weeks on end.

So this post is really to those first time Mums out there who often wonder will this thing my child is doing ever end! Kids certainly go through a lot of phases, especially around sleep it seems, so be comforted in that there will often be an end of some sorts and if in doubt my bibles through these troubled periods where Baby Love and The Mighty Toddler both by Robin Barker. Fantastic books that gave me some peace of mind and guidance.

A touch of the Inner North in the Middle East.

Coffee shop review: Red Cup – Whitehorse Road, Box Hill


I like to think of myself as an economic refugee from North Carlton – that is when my hubby and I were looking to buy a house we couldn’t afford a million dollars for a two bedroom terrace! So as each weekend of house hunting progressed we were getting a suburb further away…..we ended up in Blackburn. At first it was a major culture shock – only white people lived in Blackburn. I was having flashbacks to my childhood growing up in Mount Eliza. But the biggest cultural crime committed by the area was a lack of decent coffee…it seemed the people of the ‘burbs had resigned themselves to the fact that they were to live an existence with bad coffee…'- That was 7 years ago….Recently I was driving along Whitehorse Road and I saw a big red cup and a red vesper and nearly gave myself whiplash….."What, is it true Red Cup is coming to the burbs?"…wahooooooo!

I eventually got to go and check out the café (RED CUP) the other day…with kids just popping down to a café becomes an exercise that would put most army generals to shame with the planning and execution of achieving the elusive dream of having a coffee and keeping the kids entertained…I chose to go after swimming lessons – (read kids knackered!!!) Overall a success!

The café is a touch of the inner north in the middle east…I actually felt I was sitting on Rathdowne Street in North Carlton….Even though the café is located on a main eastern arterial…it is located off a service road…you would never know that you are on Whitehorse Road. The service was amazing…the owner Kellie is always up for a chat and on subsequent visits has remembered me. The coffee is good, the best in the area by far! (Genovese Coffee – roasted in Melbourne) and is served in the signature red cup. The menu is limited but as they say on the menu you they are sussing out the cliental and the menu will build steadily. It isn’t designed for a mothers group to hold a gathering…but if you elect to have what I call a true mothers group gathering, that is with no kids, it is perfect. But you could always grab a take away and head over to the park behind Box Hill oval with all the kids and then everyone is happy.

Opening Hours 7 Days 7am – 3pm
1124 Whitehorse Road, Box Hill
(t) 9899 1893
(e) coffee@redcup.com.au


Red Cup review - Georgy's thoughts

After receiving a text from Beck raving about Red Cup I decided I better check it out. So with husband and kids in tow we walked there Monday morning, so yes managed to include exercise as well. And I must say I was a little excited that this cafe has opened within easy walking distance from our house, I can truly feel like I am living in the Inner City. Like Beck would love to afford somewhere like Clifton Hill and this cafe has that feel about it.

Agree with Beck that the coffee was good and I am a coffee snob. Very particular. Just to give you an indication, ended up buying a great Saeco coffee machine for home so we could make our coffee just the way we like it, plus enjoy it with kids running around, always hard at a cafe. Good news is that Red Cup have also thought of this with some a drawing table paper and pencils with two comfy arm chairs each side. They also have a basket full of wooden blocks and a couple of cars. This kept them entertained for at least 10 minutes. So all in all a big hit and after we could just wander over to the playground across the road.

Have to say though that my old hang out Middleborough Cafe (539 Middleborough Road, Box Hill North) in the Kerrimuir shops also does fantastic coffee (Organic coffee Bean Ground and Drunk) and has friendly staff. Handy too next to the greengrocer and butcher, just don't quite have that Inner City feel but still well worth a visit just to try the great coffee, oh and babychinnos (something my daughter is particular about and won't drink at a lot of places as too runny).

Are mum’s now expected to be cool and hip at the school gate too? Beck:)

As a mum who is about to re-enter the workforce full-time (am I crazy…in a word- Yes!) you could imagine my horror when watching a morning television show - [http://video.msn.com/video.aspx?mkt=en-au&vid=17c35350-c0d7-4460-9b11-c9b2e440cdee] to see mum’s employing a $150 hour stylist to choose their outfits for the school run – What the??? So now not only am I going to be juggling a full time teaching job, part-time study, two children and a husband, I also have to look like a fashion goddess when I drop my daughter off at Kinder? In the words of the stylist (I am paraphrasing here) – if you don’t look good you may get excluded by the other yummy mummys. My first thought “is this woman for real?” If someone is going to judge me by what I wear then sorry sweetie I don’t want you as my ‘friend’. I love nothing more than being decked head to toe in Target clothing with my Burberry bag (yes its real – I have an issue with fakes) on my arm and having women say ‘love your outfit’ – just goes to show price doesn’t = style!

Then I got to thinking this morning while stuck in the ‘carpark’ that is otherwise known as Blackburn Road, Syndal…..if a person who dares to wear a tracksuit to the school run is called a ‘slummy mummy’….What do you call a mummy in her Juicy Couture tracksuit? A Slum Lord Mummy???

So I thought I would check out the other mummys at my daughter’s school (her kinder is part of the junior school) and I was pleased to see that jeans and a top were the clothing de jeur (this is at a private school in Eastern Melbourne). Then I thought maybe it must be a ‘Sydney thing’ because it appeared that these Eastern Suburban Melbourne Mummys didn’t require the services of a $150 hour stylist to be able to included by the other mummys…or maybe Melbourne Mummys are just naturally stylish? After all you can’t go wrong when you are wearing black head to toe!

Love for iPhone - Georgy:)

I know this may sound like a shameless plug for iPhone but I promise you it is not, there is no endorsement money coming my way. My iPhone has become one of my must haves to help with the Mummy balanancing act.

I must admit I was one of those sceptics and it took a while for me to be convinced that a 'mobile phone' could make all the difference but it has really helped.

Since having number two I had been getting more and more disorganised and forgetting things I used to always remember, like birthdays. Anyway I finally thought I can't rely on my memory lists like I used to and so started to enter things on the wall calendar. This helped a little but I would often forget to check it or write things on it. Now with my iphone always on me and an easy to use touch screen and calendar with reminders, I am doing so much better.

The other thing is it is a mobile child entertainment device. My four year old loves it and just yesterday was playing with the 'doodle buddy' on it, drawing away as I enjoyed a coffee and fantastic chocolate (my two other best freinds) with my sister and brother in Fitzroy.

I also use it to take photos and video a lot (when I haven't lugged the camera around), it got some of my boys first steps - which I then proceeded to e-mail my parents right then and there; check my Facebook and Gmail on the train to work; used the GPS in the Grampians to find our accomodation and in the City to find exact locations of meetings and don't forget the in built iPod!

It is my little buddy and I love it! I am a convert.