Where are the builders?

'Mummy when are the builders coming' - this is a question my daughter has been asking a lot lately. And depending on her mood she is either really excited about having new rooms built and can't wait to show her friends, or on other days she gets really upset about the idea - 'I love our house the way it is, I don't want it to change'.

As any of you that have renovated, built or moved house would know it is stressful. Adding kids into the mix just makes it even harder. My daughter also is sensitive to change, so it is going to be interesting to see how she reacts when the builders do arrive in a few weeks, especially as we will be living in the house during the whole seven or eight month build.

I am trying to get her excited explaining how she is going to get a new room that she can help decorate. She loves to draw and paint. With my two year old boy we have bought him a Bob the Builder set which he loves. Any other tips on how to help them and me to get through this?

Want to read more about the reno and design ideas - GeorgyGdesign.blogspot.com

Old friend coming to visit

A good friend of mine is coming over for coffee today. A friend I met in first year University, well and truly before kids (BK). We partied together, travelled up the East Coast of Australia and lived together in various share houses.

Why am I telling you this? One because I am really looking forward to her visit but secondly because I find catching up with a BK friend, someone who has been through a lot with you, is a great antidote to the ‘I am just someone’s Mummy’ feeling that can sometimes take over. The weeks when you are really focused on the kids and don’t feel like you have had a break.

So if you are having one of those periods then give that BK friend a call.

The never ending snot

My two year old is sick again, well sick enough to have to stay home from childcare. It seems that he has had this particular virus for almost four weeks. He has a continual runny nose, it is just some days he is happy and energetic and then the next it gets on top of him again and he crashes.

The question is, is it the same virus the whole time or has he got over one and then got another from the petri dish that is childcare?

We have seen the doctor on a weekly basis for the past month but have been assured that he sees other toddlers more. Probably the ones that have just started in childcare.

So if you are in the sickness treadmill, I feel for you, I have been there and what we have now is nowhere near like how it was six months ago. So it does get better!

Balance out of whack! - Georgy:)

I am back with a fresh look blog and slight change in focus. So where did I go? The whole balancing thing tipped very much in favour of trying to negotiate a building contract for our house extension (somewhere to put all the toys) and a busy work load in my office job. All this left me very unenthusiastic about getting on the computer when at home, especially as every time I did so it was with two kids climbing all over me or asking me questions!

So with all this going on I started to ask myself whether to continue with the blog, but after recently having chats to a number of friends who have just returned to their office job from maternity leave or just had first babies and are freaking out a little or had seconds and suddenly discovered how much harder two is, I thought a good time to start this up again with new energy and focus.

I am hoping that some things written in this blog will help you when you are pulling your hair out, just to know others have been through it. In my case my Mothers Group and since then a few close friends have been great for this, but I know others that don't have these networks.

Kids timeline - adds to reno - Georgy:)

Something I have to keep reminding myself (not sure why I keep forgetting) is that my to do list takes a lot longer to complete then it used to because of the kid factor. The worst timeline blow out being cleaning the house which used to take a solid hour or so now takes days and I am still not on top of it, it is an endless cycle of vacuuming and washing floors which used to only need doing once a week. Plus at the moment the constant interruption of my daughter telling me my almost two year old boy is on top of some piece of furniture or other that I quickly have to retrieve him from.

The other area you really need to put the kid factor into the equation is leaving the house to go somewhere. I used to always be on time if not a little early to everything, now I am often a few minutes late. And trying to organise a day trip or holiday - no more rushing from place to place or on the other hand that leisurely coffee admiring a view - the kids want to leave when you don't and won't rush when you want to.

Anyway even knowing all this hubby and I have decided to bring our home renovation forward (was going to be more planned and start January 2011) and it looks like the build is going to start in August to be completed in time for Christmas which we might even host! We are now in the mad rush of choosing fittings, not easy with kids in toe, the problem being one of us always has to watch them closely as they zip around the showrooms, so no discussion, just picking things then comparing notes. Thank god for the Internet where we can check a lot of things out first and for friends and family who have looked after the kids at different points.

Still it is going to be an interesting, full on few months with some great stories I am sure: - seeing how my daughter goes with the portable toilet (at least my son is still in nappies), how we move from one area of the house to another so we can live in the house and how we keep my son in particular away from the builders or climbing things he is not meant too!

If you want to see more about the design side of the renovation please check out - GeorgyGdesign@blogspot.com

Allergy free recipes - Apple crumble- Georgy:)

Well my little boy has come of his extremely strict diet and we now can slowly introduce various foods. Even so it is amazing how difficult it is to find recipes that don't contain, egg, tomato, nuts or sesame. These he definitely can't have.

I had friends over for dinner Saturday night and quickly discovered when trying to buy dip (most contain either sesame paste or nuts), crackers (may contain nuts or sesame and many with flavour contain egg). And then finding treats for the kids, not easy.

Because of this however I am learning to cook a lot of things from scratch and have discovered some great recipes. The Apple crumble I made for dessert on Saturday night was a definite winner - http://allrecipes.com.au/recipe/9877/the-perfect-apple-crumble.aspx

If you have any great recipes that you think a toddler will eat and don't contain the above please let me know.

Nappy Rash Cream- A miracle!

We (me, hubby and Bubba E) have just come out the other side of a nasty case a nappy rash. I can't really complain Bubba E is 13 months old and we are having his first real case of nappy rash. My daughter was forever having issues with nappy rash...if only I knew then what I know now! Well after trying and I mean trying every nappy rash cream on the commercial market plus steroid creams we were getting no where and the rash was getting worse - think major spreading and blisters - poor little man! Then I recalled a conversation with a friend of mine, she is a super mum, a woman who most definitely wears her undies on the outside (3 boys!!!!) - always looks amazing anyway I digress....back to the nappy rash saga. I recalled S telling me about this miracle cream that she had discovered, she said it didn't smell all that good and it didn't look all nice and white like the ones available commercially but it was amazing and cleared up her little boy's nappy rash in no time. So armed with this knowledge I got the name of the pharmacy that makes their own nappy rash cream went online bought a jar paid extra for express postage and have not looked back since! The pharmacy is David Hosking's Pharmacy in Essendon and not only do they post to anywhere in Australia they also post internationally. I am getting no kick backs from this and the pharmacy doesn't even know that I am writing about them, but I can not tell you how amazing this cream is....I will never bother with the stuff off the shelf again.....one application and we saw a major difference. So if your little person is suffering with slight or chronic nappy rash give David Hosking's nappy rash cream a go! They also have a variety of creams for other skin ailments.

Stir crazy - Winter has hit - Georgy:)

I have never liked Winter especially as I am an outdoor person and love warm sunny days. Now with kids Winter is even harder, especially when like the last week it has almost rained continuously and the temperature has dropped.

So with this going on I have been trying hard to do activities indoors. The tent arrangement over the new play alcove I created this past week was a hit for about a half hour until they got bored with it.

So over the weekend decided we needed to brave the rain and cold and get out of the house. Saturday morning we went to the Collingwood Children's Farm Farmers Market with Beck and her family. A big hit with the kids, I highly recommend it - the kids got to look at all the animals and us adults could buy great food and coffee. Plus I think Beck and I enjoyed having a reason to wear our wellington boots as much as the girls did.

Today hubbie, the kids and I headed into the City on the train. The kids were excited just about the train ride itself (and we were warm). This followed by a visit to Federation Square, the playground at Birrarung Marr, a walk along the river past the new Federation wharf area (good place for a drink) and then a wander along South Bank, was good entertainment for all of us.

So another week of Winter weather to look forward too, I will just have to find some more great things to do.

The hidden cook - Georgy:)

Well back online after a short break - it has been a difficult couple of weeks with us finding out that our little boy has a number of food and other allergies. On top of this he has been almost continually sick with one virus after another, which has meant asthma and sleep problems.

We seem to finally be getting on top of it now though with on our doctors recommendation taking him out of childcare. We are trying to break the cycle of illness by keeping him out of childcare for at least a month. Just on this I was reading the other day that toddlers tend to get sick a lot and if they are in childcare this can increase by 30%. It seems our boy falls into this category.

Anyway on the positive side I am getting to spend quality time with my little boy now having been home from work for almost two weeks and I have also discovered my hidden cook.

I have never been that into cooking with my husband doing the majority but with the discovery of my little boys allergies to egg, nuts, tomato and sesame seeds to name the top four (he can't have these until he is re-tested in 18 months), on top of which he can not have other things such as yeast (there goes the Vegemite), many preservatives and additives (means no cheese, flavoured yogurt), limited fruit and only certain veges for a month - this has resulted in me trying to come up with fresh things he will eat and actually having to cook from scratch!

I have discovered a couple of winners thus far like pasta with oven cooked chicken thighs, roast pumpkin, onion and of course olive oil (at least he can have that as I love to cook with it).

Babycinos

Last weekend I dragged my hubby and two bambinos off to a cafe that I discovered via Facebook - Babycinos (1 Northampton Pl, off Punt Rd, South Yarra). Great venue just off Punt Rd and there is ample parking...I know Punt Road and South Yarra are not not known for their ample parking!!! But next to the cafe is a four hour carpark. The cafe is set up for mums and bubs....they are 'toddler friendly, not toddler tolerant'. The seating is outside, but have no fear the veranda is enclosed and there are heaters. The outside area is tan barked and there is play equipment for the kidlets. There is also an indoor playroom if the Melbourne weather turns bad (it has been known to happen!). The coffee is good, the menu is simple but is comprised of good home-cooked food and caters for even the fussiest of eaters. Raffety's Garden and Heinz products are also available for the little bubbas and there is Pop Juice available for the older kids. I strongly recommend that the mums living in Melbourne go and check it out and support local small business - the owner is very friendly and is always up for a good chat. It would be a great venue for a mothers group with toddlers. The kids are safely locked in the backyard and can play to their hearts content while the mums get down to the real business of mother's group and blow off steam!!!! If you are on Facebook check out the Babycinos page and become a fan.

Not the only ones - Georgy:)

We have been going through a difficult patch lately with almost continuous illness in our household. My little boy is constantly getting viruses which result in a chesty cough and a runny nose, this of course leads to bad sleep and the ongoing juggle with work and taking time off to look after him.

Last week for what seemed like the first time in ages he was actually well and so started to put in place a sleep routine which saw him sleeping solidly through from 7pm to 4 or 5am - an early start but better then it was.

Unfortunately while he was well both my husband and daughter were sick. Now they are better and my little boy is congested again and hardly sleeping. It is hard to take and you start to feel like you are the only one dealing with this, particularly as unlike many of our friends we don't have parents in Melbourne to lend a hand.

Yesterday though I felt marginally better when talking to another childcare Mum to find out she is in the same boat. Just talking about it and having someone relate and understand so perfectly helped so much. So if any of you out there are struggling in this way at the moment, I hope you too can take heart in that you are not alone and I have been told it will get better once my little boy is just that bit older.

The Toy invasion - what to do with them all - Georgy:)

Toys and stuff that goes with children are everywhere in my house. As my husband says the soft toys are like gremlins, they just seem to multiply over night. We need more storage and joke that we are doing our house extension just so we can fit everything.

The problem with me is I am one of these people that hates clutter, I like things to be tidy and am passionate (or as some might say obsessed) about interior design and rooms being 'just so'. I have to admit I actually get a little stressed if things are a mess and look disorganised. Now I am not a minimalist, I love a house to have warmth and character and express the family’s personality, just in an organised way, so wanted storage options that also add to the style of the room. The other thing I am concerned about is the environment and so always feel a bit funny about the amount of plastic toys the kids get given.

So as you can imagine when I had my first baby friends kept reminding me 'don't worry about the house, relax, you can't keep it looking like you have, oh and when the baby starts moving you will have to put your ornaments away or move them to higher ground'. Relax about the house, not possible! And actually after my first I managed to keep things tidy organised and clean. I also never had to move anything (did baby proof cupboards and power points of course), as my daughter just didn't pull things down or mess things up, she was easy in that respect.

Now it is a slightly different story with my little boy moving around the house, things get messy quickly (his sister joining him in creating the mess) and he is a little more destructive then she was so have to watch him continuously. Strangely enough he hasn't pulled down ornaments or pulled books out of shelves either. Also with just one we could store most of the toys in her bedroom which we can't do now with the two in the one bedroom (we have a two bedroom house).

So being the neat freak I am have had to work out ways to deal with the toy explosion, both design / storage ideas and with my environmental hat on looking at the reduce, reuse, recycle concept.

Reduce - could say well stop buying so many as lets face it most kids play with it for about two minutes then loose interest, problem is we are not the ones buying them. My kids are the only Grandchildren on both sides of the family and their grandparents love to give them things especially as they live interstate from us so don't see them that often. We are trying to put limits on gifts and get them to buy books or things to make rather then more plastic. The great thing about books too is they have no extra packaging to get rid of.

Reuse - we have joined a toy library, so every three weeks they have different toys to keep them amused. We also often select games or puzzles which take up less space. Have also started the de-clutter of passing toys on that they have grown out of to either friends or charities.

Recycle - not an option for most toys unless you look at it in terms of giving to others as above.

Storage with a design element - as for the rest; storage, storage, storage - that fits in with the style of my rooms and is not an eyesore.

One of the best things I have discovered is small cane baskets from IKEA, they fit well into a standard bookshelf (and one thing I love is having bookshelves around the house, they can add a lot to a room if kept ordered, almost like a feature wall of beautiful things and colour) and in them I can store small things like cars, Little People, train set stuff, tea set. I have also bought larger boxes with beautiful designs (IKEA) and cane baskets that also act as side tables (from Queen Victoria Markets).

And now for the perfect segue into my new blog - if you want to read more about design ideas for a relaxed, family friendly home, design and gardening projects you can do with the kids, ideas for also dealing with the picture explosion (my daughter loves to draw, paint and make things) and trying to build a well designed extension with good sustainability elements please check out www.GeorgyGdesign.blogspot.com

Happy Mother's Day - Georgy:)

To all the Mums out there happy Mothers day. I hope you are getting to relax.

Unfortunately for me I have a sick hubbie and four year old so my day consists of looking after them. Plus at the moment we are trying this new routine with our little boy to help him sleep better (we have had a run of at least a month of very bad nights), which went extremely well Friday night but on the second night being last night, he decided to wake up at 3.45 and stay awake.

At 6ish I finally gave in, got him up and took him for a walk hoping he would sleep. But no such luck. Instead he was chatting away, pointing out things and generally very happy. Amazingly enough this is what actually made my mothers day, in my hazy state my little boy suddenly said something which sounded like 'I love you' for the first time. And so when we were nearly home and crossed paths with a woman going for a walk and she said to me 'Happy Mothers day', I actually thought yes it is.

Am I a better mum now that I am working?

As you know I have recently returned to work full time. I am three weeks in and loving it. Everything that I worried about before I went back hasn’t happened…Yet! I am sure it is coming but for the mean time I am enjoying the honeymoon period. I was at a 4 year old party today and I was chatting to my friends (all mums at my childcare centre). I was talking about how I was enjoying work and that I actually feel my ability to parent has improved also. The time I spend with my children is most definitely less in quantity but the quality is so much more….so maybe the old saying of ‘less is more’ is true in this case. I have heard celebrity mums espouse the line of …’working makes me a better mum’ and I would be there thinking yeah I am sure I could be a fabulous mum too if I had the cleaner, the nanny, the personal trainer and chef. As I have none of those services….seriously looking for a cleaner though….it is on the list of things to do…right after I have celebrated my son’s first birthday, organized his thank you cards (yes from his birth….seriously a bad mum!!!), organized my daughter’s fourth birthday party – as I am currently outsourcing the majority of my parenting I am most definitely outsourcing the party! But none the less I still have to call, book, organize invites, write invites and then send invites…please keep in mind I haven’t done my son’s thank you cards yet!!!!! But strangely I am feeling somewhat in control……when I returned to full time work after 18 months of maternity leave with my daughter there is no way I would even consider having a party for her birthday….so what is different this time? I am not sure, other than I am really enjoying my job, enjoying my time with my two beautiful bubbas, having a supportive husband, having a somewhat balanced life and a handy supply of Lovan and red wine!!! Seriously though, I believe that I am a happier person right at this moment. I actually enjoy getting up before the family to have my limited me time – well it is me, my coffee and Karl and Lisa (Today Show – Channel 9) and then I get myself ready for work and start what is a manic day until I crawl into bed 15 hours later…but you know – I wouldn’t want it any other way…well for the time being!

What Gives? - Georgy:)

What gives - that is what I have been asking myself a bit recently. In this whole balancing thing it is hard enough to keep a good balance with quality children or family time, three days intense work focus and just the day to day running of the household, that when you throw much more on top of that or something like illness throws you out of wack it can suddenly feel like there are way too many juggling balls and they are starting to drop.

I have learnt talking to friends that everyone's focus on what is important in the whole juggle is different and so what gives and in what order varies but I have found that in most instances the first thing to go is 'me time'. We do often put ourselves last. Maybe ok for a while when push comes to shove but not for too long as then other things start to drop as a result. In my case it is often my health. So with this in mind on the weekend I took brief time out of a sick household to go shopping and bought some fabulous boots. I also managed a 30 minute bubble bath, well almost as near the end my two children came in to drop toys in the bath and just stare at me.

So what gave in my house on the weekend, general housework. A hard one for me as I like a tidy, clean home and so this is normally one of the last things to give, but seriously we were all too exhausted. In this state, finally self survival kicked in and I remembered what a doctor once said to me, 'you should try to have 30 minutes to yourself a day (I know not easy). If you don't look after yourself how can you look after others?'

Who takes the day off? _ Georgy:)

I have been reminded these past few weeks of one of the difficulties of having two working parents, especially when you have no support in the terms of grandparents (they are all interstate or overseas). Myself and my little boy have both been sick over the past few weeks off and on which is hard enough in itself, with sleepless nights and not much chance to recover. But the hardest thing after a few weeks of this was the question yesterday morning off who was going to take the day off to look after our son? We have both had a bit of time of work due to sickness recently (mine and the kids) and we are both busy at work which adds to the pressure.

In my case working three days a week also means that having one off is a higher percentage of my week. Also the problem for me is I have no sick leave left. With all these things thrown into the mix my husband took the day off. Lets hope this is the last one for a while as not sure what we will do if it continues.

On a positive note though I would like to take this chance to recognise my wonderful sister and friends that helped me out with the kids when I could hardly get out of bed (my husband was away interstate at the time). I am so grateful to have this support network.

Back to full time work - Beck:)

I survived….

Well I have been officially back in the fulltime workforce for a week. In the lead up, I can honestly say I was a bitch…I was so stressed and strung out about things that I was imaging to happen when I went back to work. I was worried about not being able to get out of the house on time in the morning, being up until all hours getting ready for the next day and then be up all night with my youngest who still doesn’t sleep through the night, even though he is almost one.

Well the week has come and the week has gone and there hasn’t been any apocalyptic moments, in fact quite the opposite. Each morning everything went to plan…did I forget to mention that I created a morning timetable for myself (I am a teacher what did you expect??). I was up, organized, kids up and organized and out the door at no later than 7.15 each morning…The organization gods were working with me all week. The evenings also went to plan, dinner, bath, bed (the kids that is). I was able to have Kinder bags, Daycare bags all packed and ready to go by the time I had my evening shower. My son for the first time in his short life started sleeping through the night (with a few little stirs - but pop the dummy back in and bingo!!).

I even got a little bit of study done. I will admit the study bit has fallen away a little. I don’t think it has anything to do with a time thing because I seem to have plenty of it (ask me again when reports and uni assignments are due at the same time). I actually feel I have more time to enjoy being a mum…I know…even I can’t believe those words are coming out of my mouth. I am loving my new job and for the first time in a long time I actually enjoying teaching – I feel rejuvenated and as a result the drive to get a piece of paper to do another profession has taken a back seat. But this job is only for Term 2 so I have to keep telling myself no you have to get this piece of paper so you have the option of starting a new career.

Back to enjoying being a mum, I believe I am one of those women who have to work to be a better mum…. Each night this week I have looked forward to coming home and seeing my beautiful children. I even enjoy watching 'Nick Jnr' with my daughter! I enjoy and appreciate their cuddles more. Their smiles, when they see me in the afternoon, melt my heart every time. I feel that by working I appreciate my time with them more…I have read several parenting books and they all say the same thing it isn’t the quantity of time you spend with your children but the quality of time…..I am now starting believe that this in fact true.

I feel I achieved the impossible - BALANCE in my life.

Breast Feeding - too much pressure

Beck

It seems to be constant, these comments by other mothers about how you must breastfeed. I recently read a quote from a women who said she left her Mothers group because she was the only one bottle feeding and was made to feel bad about that. As someone who is still traumatized from my failed attempt at breastfeeding my first child – to this day I am convinced that is was one of the major factors that lead to my post-natal depression, I find these comments very upsetting.

The pressure on mums to breast feed and breast feed only is enormous. In hospital we are inundated with pictures of angelic mothers breast feeding with ease. Then we are often faced with midwives telling us that failing breastfeed will result in your child not being as smart (or in one case a friend, who suffers with bipolar disorder and therefore not permitted to breastfeed due to medications, that she was artificially feeding her baby) – where do some women get off.

Why do some breastfeeding mothers feel that they can judge women who choose to bottle feed (for what ever reason and sometimes there is no choice) . Why are they even concerned, really? My bottle feeding doesn’t impact their child and according to some very dodgy research I am merely paving the way for their child to get into med or law school – really I am doing them a favour! So I guess what I am really trying to get at is why do women have to judge other women for ‘their individual’ choices?

Georgy

I agree with Beck, I wish women would stop judging. Putting so much pressure on women to breastfeed can actually be quite detrimental to the health of some mothers. Yes we all know that breast milk is preferable for the baby but not at all cost.

I breastfed my first child through four bouts of mastitis (one which landed me in emergency), all in the first three months of my babies life. In this case after about four months I did find the breast feeding experience a good one and breastfed until my daughter was about nine months and I had to return to work but during that period it had a huge impact on my mental health and my ability to do other things, even so I kept going because of all the pressure from others. My husband had to take a bit of time of work to help me.

With my second I again tried to breastfeed. He was a hungry baby, feeding every two and a half hours during the day, due to the fact he slept through the night quite early on. Soon even this wasn't enough and he got really unsettled. When he was about three months I got diagnosed with postnatal depression and it was strongly suggested by medical professionals that I stop breast feeding, so I did. Once on the bottle my little boy was more settled, he thrived and my health improved dramatically as well.

As my Mum kept saying, 'darling if you are finding the breast feeding that hard please stop. I had to with all three of you children and you turned out just fine.' Mum I am glad I finally listened to you. And she is right, maybe there is some credibility in those studies that say breast milk helps with IQ but in mine and my brother and sisters case we have all done very well in the academic area, so can't have effected us too much!

So I guess what I want to say from this, yes breast feed if you can, it has a lot of benefits for the baby, but if you struggle for what ever reason please don't be under pressure to continue and in the end it is your choice, what ever you decide to do.

Tired, clingy children - is gardening the answer? - Georgy:)

My daughter of late as been overtired due to lack of solid sleep (she has been having nightmares then coming into our bed for cuddles), resulting in her being just that little more clingy and constantly demanding my attention during the day.

By the end of the Easter weekend however we have a different child. She was so happy yesterday, has started sleeping better and as a result played a lot by herself or with her brother quite happily. She was also excited this morning about going to childcare and telling her friends about her weekend.

Why the change, I have asked myself as I really want to keep this child around? The main thing I can put it down to is gardening and being outside in general over most of the weekend. Together we weeded and started redoing our herb, vegetable garden. My daughter loved it and kept asking how she could help. Both kids also just seemed to enjoy being outside with us, running around, playing with their balls and picking leaves and flowers to go inside.

All in all we had a great weekend outdoors which has made for happy, relaxed children. As for myself I feel the same, though I am very stiff and sore from all that digging. At least I know I have done a good workout as well

The Easter egg thief - Georgy:)

Early morning Easter Sunday (very early considering that day light saving finished but the kids body clocks didn't change), my excited children ran out to see if the Easter Bunny had come. 'He has eaten some of the carrot look, Mummy, look' my daughter exclaimed, pointing to the carrot we had left on the back deck the night before.

So once the sun had actually risen and it was light enough to see, my two rugged up children, with myself and Daddy in tow (video camera at the ready) went outside to look for chocolate eggs that the Easter Bunny had left.

First stop the cubby house and low and behold the kids found four little eggs each and small torches all wrapped up together in heavy plastic casing - now this is key as we were soon to discover.

Next we all trooped down of the deck to what I refer to as the weed lawn. My daughter very quickly spotted shingy purple metalic wrapping indicating an Easter egg and rushed over to pick it up. To everyones surprise that is all it was, just wrapping. This was followed by more discovery of the same. Where were the chocolate eggs that were meant to be inside? We finally found the remanents of them at the base of a big tree in the back corner of the garden where we know possums live (well at least I hope it was possums and not rats).

To give my children credit, neither were that upset (they had already had so much chocolate over the past few days), my daughter was even a little excited and exclaimed, 'I can't wait to tell everyone at childcare, possums ate my Easter eggs.' And we heard her telling my sister later in the day 'we had an Easter egg wrapper hunt this morning' followed by a little giggle.

Sleep, where are you! - Georgy:)

When I was heavily pregnant with my first child I started to read a lot about babies and thought I understood about the lack of sleep but nothing can prepare you and nothing warned me that not only do babies not sleep but toddlers often don't either.

With a four year old and 20 month old now, I can't remember when I last had a really good nights sleep. Surprisingly with my second he slept through the night from 10 weeks old, unfortunately my daughter wasn't sleeping that well. Then when my little boy was about 10 months he stopped sleeping through the night and my daughter started again. It seems they have it all worked out with some tag team thing going - 'ok I am going to sleep through tonight so can you make sure you wake Mummy up, got to keep her on her toes.'

In the last week my little boy has started sleeping through the night again, four nights in a row (I know just writing this he will now stop but oh well) but my daughter has been coming into our bed at about three in the morning (big improve, so fairly happy). I started to think this is it we will have them both sleeping through soon but then my little boy was up half the night coughing the other night, while of course my daughter slept through.

Last night however they both actually slept through - only issue is we have been up since 4.50 am. Seems that my little boy will sleep through as long as he can get up really early to spend time with Mummy. Good thing we have a coffee machine, my best friend!

Single Mum with Benefits - a hard job - Beck:)

Recently I have joined a group of special women, ‘the single mums with benefits club’! Mums out there whose husbands work in a job that keeps them away from home for long hours or a job that sends then on frequent business trips will know all about this club. It is a club that I don’t like being a member of (actually yet to meet a mum who does)…after all we don’t have nice swish club rooms or a secret handshake…instead we have that walking dead look in our eyes.

My husband was in Brisvegas last week and is now in Sydney. I have been home alone with my two kidlets…and my 10 month old decided that he would sprout teeth (from 0 to 3 in less than a week)….I was getting worried there for a while but that is another blog. So it has been a tough week with a bubba up at night cutting teeth, trying to get a website organised so I can hand it back to my client, attending PMP (perceptual motor program) duty at my daughter’s kinder, tutoring my Year 12 English Language students , as well as trying to keep a house and study ( lets say the house looks like a bomb has gone off in it and study…not happening this week ).

So I sit here writing (one bubba asleep and the other watching Dora) now really appreciating how hard it would be to be a single mum .

Holiday with kids - Georgy:)

Holiday - can you call it that when you have young kids? It is certainly not like the relaxing holidays we used to have where we could sit on a beach for ages and read, take an hour to drink a coffee somewhere like on the Grand Canal in Venice or wander slowly through the British museum or Louvre, or even go on a four day hike somewhere like Deep Creek in South Australia - all things I did prior to kids.

I remember a couple of years ago when I said I was going on holiday to New Zealand (at the time my little girl was 20 months) and a friend said how can you call it that, when you don't get a holiday from continually looking after a little person - true but actually for me it was a great holiday - for one a break from work and secondly I loved seeing my little girls wonderment at everything we saw. It made it just that more special.

On the weekend just gone we went to Bright in Victoria - relaxing, to a certain degree, being surrounded by nature but at the same time exhausting as neither child slept that well, especially my little boy being stuck in an awful travel cot. My little boy also is at that age where he is into everything and was running off all the time, trying to get in the river with the ducks or run down hills which his little legs aren't quite ready for. Good exercise for me chasing him.

They had a great time though (and so did I), going for small walks along the river, visiting Mount Buffalo and paddling in the Lake there, swimming in the pool at the place we were staying at and just having lots of time with their Mummy and Daddy. It is amazing how over a few days my daughter just became obviously more relaxed and was revelling in being outdoors just about all day. She even said on our last morning, "I don't want to go home Mummy" and I too thought neither do I. It was great to see, as over Christmas we went on a longer holiday to Adelaide, which means rushing around visiting family and friends and then back via the Grampians. After a while my daughter a couple of times a day asked when we were going home and my son became more and more clingy and tired, resulting in my husband and I being exhausted and then sick.

So I have come to realise that holidays with children can be just that if you choose the destination wisely and the amount of time you go for, be prepared to not rush from one thing to another or spend too many hours in a row in the car and in my case realise that another trip to Europe might just have to wait for another few years.

Split personality- Georgy:)

When at work, often think maybe I could do that extra day. I love being in the adult World were people know me before I was Mummy. Love coming into the wonderful City of Melbourne and out of suburbia, enjoying the buzz, getting my morning coffee in a relaxed manner and being able to drink it either deep in thought or reading the paper.

But when at home think gosh I wish I was a full time Mum. I love the more relaxed pace in the morning and not having to rush to childcare and the stress of having to get to work on time. Then at the other end picking up tired children who frequently throw tantrums on getting home and we start the whole evening routine just that bit later. Love having my time with the kids and playing silly games or making things with my daughter, lots of dancing and cuddles with my son and just watching them play. The relaxed pace when it is just the three of us pottering around the house.

But maybe just maybe having a bit of both is having it all, just have to stop wishing I had more of each!

A mother’s guilt is never done……….

Hi my name is Rebecca and I am a guilt addict……. I blame my heritage for this affliction, on my mother’s side alone the family is Catholic and in the distance there is a Jewish connection. So when it comes to guilt I have the whole thing sewn up!

My current guilt ridden episode (I say episode because my life most of the time feels like a soap opera – I even live in a street not that dissimilar to Neighbours) is being caused by the whole notion of me returning to full-time work in four short weeks and missing time with my Little Man. I will miss time with my daughter too, but it isn’t so much a ‘time thing’ as it is a ‘milestone thing’. I was there for my daughter’s first crawl at 6 months, her first tentative steps around the furniture at 7 months and full on independence at 10 months. I was there to hear her say ‘mum’ for the first time. My Little Man is 10 months old and nothing like his sister, in that he is content to sit and watch the world come to him….Where as Greer, she wanted to go and get the world from the moment she came out. So my Little Man has four weeks to crawl (he hates tummy time and when on his tummy looks like a squashed turtle – so it is not happening any time soon!) and then can only take his first steps the June/July or September school holidays! As my shrink pointed out to me, while I was having a guilt trip in my session, “how many fathers see their child take their first steps? And is their role as father diminished because of that?” I guess not. I have to tell myself that I am returning to work so that we can buy property in the ever escalating housing boom that is occurring in Melbourne… I mean really when did a $700K property become an ideal first home buyers property????. But don’t get me started on the cost of living in Melbourne…seriously it is beginning to make living in London look like the cheaper option……..

So in a mere four weeks I will be juggling or trying to balance full time work, part time study, motherhood, wifehood, my guilt…. Oh and trying to squeeze in some time to be ‘me’…maybe between 3 and 4 am?

Phases - Georgy:)

One of my friends, a first time Mum often refers to me about things her little one is doing, asking 'have you experienced this, is it just a phase?' Most of the time as the very experienced Mum of two that I am (hmmm still refer regularly to my own Mum, books, doctor or my maternal health nurse, but still) I can comfortably say, yes been through that and it was a phase.

Even knowing this myself though, it is still hard to handle some 'phases'. My little boy at the moment screams whenever we leave him at childcare, when only a few weeks ago he would run in happily without a care in the World. My daughter did the same thing at a similar age, so know that he will hopefully soon grow out of it but it doesn't make it much easier. Every morning I drop him at the childcare centre I leave wanting to cry myself and struggle to go into work. I often ring a little later in the day just to check he is ok as he is so hysterical when we leave. I am always reassured that he calms down quickly and by the time we pick him up he is happily playing and often doesn't want to leave.

My daughter on the other hand is going through a coming into Mummy and Daddy's bed phase. She has done this a number of times for a period from the age of two and a half (funnily enough she never slept in our bed before this) but then suddenly stops and sleeps in her own bed again for weeks on end.

So this post is really to those first time Mums out there who often wonder will this thing my child is doing ever end! Kids certainly go through a lot of phases, especially around sleep it seems, so be comforted in that there will often be an end of some sorts and if in doubt my bibles through these troubled periods where Baby Love and The Mighty Toddler both by Robin Barker. Fantastic books that gave me some peace of mind and guidance.

A touch of the Inner North in the Middle East.

Coffee shop review: Red Cup – Whitehorse Road, Box Hill


I like to think of myself as an economic refugee from North Carlton – that is when my hubby and I were looking to buy a house we couldn’t afford a million dollars for a two bedroom terrace! So as each weekend of house hunting progressed we were getting a suburb further away…..we ended up in Blackburn. At first it was a major culture shock – only white people lived in Blackburn. I was having flashbacks to my childhood growing up in Mount Eliza. But the biggest cultural crime committed by the area was a lack of decent coffee…it seemed the people of the ‘burbs had resigned themselves to the fact that they were to live an existence with bad coffee…'- That was 7 years ago….Recently I was driving along Whitehorse Road and I saw a big red cup and a red vesper and nearly gave myself whiplash….."What, is it true Red Cup is coming to the burbs?"…wahooooooo!

I eventually got to go and check out the café (RED CUP) the other day…with kids just popping down to a café becomes an exercise that would put most army generals to shame with the planning and execution of achieving the elusive dream of having a coffee and keeping the kids entertained…I chose to go after swimming lessons – (read kids knackered!!!) Overall a success!

The café is a touch of the inner north in the middle east…I actually felt I was sitting on Rathdowne Street in North Carlton….Even though the café is located on a main eastern arterial…it is located off a service road…you would never know that you are on Whitehorse Road. The service was amazing…the owner Kellie is always up for a chat and on subsequent visits has remembered me. The coffee is good, the best in the area by far! (Genovese Coffee – roasted in Melbourne) and is served in the signature red cup. The menu is limited but as they say on the menu you they are sussing out the cliental and the menu will build steadily. It isn’t designed for a mothers group to hold a gathering…but if you elect to have what I call a true mothers group gathering, that is with no kids, it is perfect. But you could always grab a take away and head over to the park behind Box Hill oval with all the kids and then everyone is happy.

Opening Hours 7 Days 7am – 3pm
1124 Whitehorse Road, Box Hill
(t) 9899 1893
(e) coffee@redcup.com.au


Red Cup review - Georgy's thoughts

After receiving a text from Beck raving about Red Cup I decided I better check it out. So with husband and kids in tow we walked there Monday morning, so yes managed to include exercise as well. And I must say I was a little excited that this cafe has opened within easy walking distance from our house, I can truly feel like I am living in the Inner City. Like Beck would love to afford somewhere like Clifton Hill and this cafe has that feel about it.

Agree with Beck that the coffee was good and I am a coffee snob. Very particular. Just to give you an indication, ended up buying a great Saeco coffee machine for home so we could make our coffee just the way we like it, plus enjoy it with kids running around, always hard at a cafe. Good news is that Red Cup have also thought of this with some a drawing table paper and pencils with two comfy arm chairs each side. They also have a basket full of wooden blocks and a couple of cars. This kept them entertained for at least 10 minutes. So all in all a big hit and after we could just wander over to the playground across the road.

Have to say though that my old hang out Middleborough Cafe (539 Middleborough Road, Box Hill North) in the Kerrimuir shops also does fantastic coffee (Organic coffee Bean Ground and Drunk) and has friendly staff. Handy too next to the greengrocer and butcher, just don't quite have that Inner City feel but still well worth a visit just to try the great coffee, oh and babychinnos (something my daughter is particular about and won't drink at a lot of places as too runny).

Are mum’s now expected to be cool and hip at the school gate too? Beck:)

As a mum who is about to re-enter the workforce full-time (am I crazy…in a word- Yes!) you could imagine my horror when watching a morning television show - [http://video.msn.com/video.aspx?mkt=en-au&vid=17c35350-c0d7-4460-9b11-c9b2e440cdee] to see mum’s employing a $150 hour stylist to choose their outfits for the school run – What the??? So now not only am I going to be juggling a full time teaching job, part-time study, two children and a husband, I also have to look like a fashion goddess when I drop my daughter off at Kinder? In the words of the stylist (I am paraphrasing here) – if you don’t look good you may get excluded by the other yummy mummys. My first thought “is this woman for real?” If someone is going to judge me by what I wear then sorry sweetie I don’t want you as my ‘friend’. I love nothing more than being decked head to toe in Target clothing with my Burberry bag (yes its real – I have an issue with fakes) on my arm and having women say ‘love your outfit’ – just goes to show price doesn’t = style!

Then I got to thinking this morning while stuck in the ‘carpark’ that is otherwise known as Blackburn Road, Syndal…..if a person who dares to wear a tracksuit to the school run is called a ‘slummy mummy’….What do you call a mummy in her Juicy Couture tracksuit? A Slum Lord Mummy???

So I thought I would check out the other mummys at my daughter’s school (her kinder is part of the junior school) and I was pleased to see that jeans and a top were the clothing de jeur (this is at a private school in Eastern Melbourne). Then I thought maybe it must be a ‘Sydney thing’ because it appeared that these Eastern Suburban Melbourne Mummys didn’t require the services of a $150 hour stylist to be able to included by the other mummys…or maybe Melbourne Mummys are just naturally stylish? After all you can’t go wrong when you are wearing black head to toe!

Love for iPhone - Georgy:)

I know this may sound like a shameless plug for iPhone but I promise you it is not, there is no endorsement money coming my way. My iPhone has become one of my must haves to help with the Mummy balanancing act.

I must admit I was one of those sceptics and it took a while for me to be convinced that a 'mobile phone' could make all the difference but it has really helped.

Since having number two I had been getting more and more disorganised and forgetting things I used to always remember, like birthdays. Anyway I finally thought I can't rely on my memory lists like I used to and so started to enter things on the wall calendar. This helped a little but I would often forget to check it or write things on it. Now with my iphone always on me and an easy to use touch screen and calendar with reminders, I am doing so much better.

The other thing is it is a mobile child entertainment device. My four year old loves it and just yesterday was playing with the 'doodle buddy' on it, drawing away as I enjoyed a coffee and fantastic chocolate (my two other best freinds) with my sister and brother in Fitzroy.

I also use it to take photos and video a lot (when I haven't lugged the camera around), it got some of my boys first steps - which I then proceeded to e-mail my parents right then and there; check my Facebook and Gmail on the train to work; used the GPS in the Grampians to find our accomodation and in the City to find exact locations of meetings and don't forget the in built iPod!

It is my little buddy and I love it! I am a convert.

The Joys of Motherhood - Georgy:)

Recently a friend told me that my posts on the blog so far are starting to give the impression that I don't enjoy motherhood but believe me that is not the case at all. In the whole work, Mummy juggle I often wish that I was home more with the kids but that is a whole other story for another post.

This time around I am going to focus on the positives of motherhood. I think it is always good to take a step back and just enjoy. It already seems to be flashing by with my daughter recently turning four and my son now one and a half - weren't they only babies just yesterday.

With this thought in mind I have recently taken time out in my children's room (they share a room) when getting my daughter to go to sleep. She goes to bed an hour after my son and so we quitely sing her songs in her room and then sit on the chair in there until she falls asleep. This used to bug me that she needed us to do this, I just wanted to get on with my evening and so tried a few techniques to get her to go to sleep without us there - anyway these didn't work very well and she kept waking her brother, so in the end I thought, it doesn't take long for her to fall asleep and I can use the time to just watch both my beautiful children and think about our day we had together.

So a post to all the wonderful things about motherhood of which there are so many - from the time they are born, that first smile, laugh and babble to first steps, dance, peekaboo game and first words. The cuddles and kisses. When my daughter said ' I love you Mummy', just melted my heart - can't wait for my little boy to say it. Just the pure enjoyment, fun and laughter and the list goes on and on.

Even when my very cuddly adorable son gets us up during the night (which he still does almost every night) and then at the crack of dawn, even sleep deprived I am so happy to see him and his smiley face.

I love if I have been away how they both rush to greet me at the door for cuddles and for my daughter to fill me in on everything that happened while I was away, followed my the, 'I missed you Mummy'.

There are so many things they do that make me smile everyday - their dance moves, how well they play together.

'Mummy, soon I will be able to stand up and go to the toilet like Daddy' - Mmmm sorry sweetie but you don't have the right appendage.
'Look how beautiful I am when N comes over she is going to say, wow where did this princess come from?'
'Mummy I really missed Ben when he was in your tummy.'
'Hello stick insect, I'm Daniella and this is Benjamin.'

When having children makes you laugh!!! - Beck :)

Being mum can be, no let me correct myself, is the hardest job on the planet. It is often a thankless job and one that doesn’t get appreciated until your rugrats have rugrats of their own. As mine are 3 ½ years old and 9 months old I have a little waiting to do until I get my thank-you Mum! It is very easy to run down being a mum and there are days when if you could find the office to submit your resignation you would do it in a heart beat. But then there are days when you think to yourself I can’t believe I get paid for this…oh hang on I was back in the classroom…that’s right we don’t get paid for it! There are days when you have tears in your eyes not because the house looks like World War III has just taken place or your eldest has unraveled an entire roll of toilet paper or has eaten an ice-cream in your bed on your new ‘expensive’ linen, but from laughter.

Before I had children I said to myself “I will keep a record of all the funny things my children say”…this came about from teaching kids for 10 years…. From which you learn one thing, kids can be so funny and I am sure their parents would die if they knew the secrets they were telling teachers! But alas along with the “no child of mine will eat hot chips for lunch” mantra, this promise to one’s self has not eventuated; however, I have been able to store some wonderful insights and comments from my daughter, in what is left of my brain capacity!

1. Greer (18 months) hanging off the side of supermarket trolley (yes I know they aren’t supposed to do that but to ensure my sanity and those of other shoppers I would let my daughter do what ever she wanted just so I could complete a shop in peace!) screaming “I want more cock!”. My daughter at this stage of her language development was unable to pronounce ‘chocolate’ so you can imagine the shock on the faces of some shoppers as well as the tears that were being shed by those who I kept bumping into down the aisles, while my daughter continued to yell so everyone could hear…Not nearly as embarrassing as a friend of mine whose son was unable to pronounce the ‘o’ in Count (from Sesame Street)!!!! As she informed me the “the Count is bloody everywhere!”

2. Greer (2 ½ years): My daughter is a determined little girl who knows exactly what she wants, how she wants it and when she wants it. Watching Nick Jnr (Foxtel/Cable) and Ollie (the Australian muppet) comes on singing the days of the week song, as it was a Sunday he announced so. Greer’s response was to chuck an absolute wobbly, once she calmed down and I figured out what the problem was (because I certainly wasn’t offended that Ollie said it was Sunday) she responded with “I don’t want it to be Sunday, but I can see a little bit of Tuesday (as she is peering out the window)”….if only we could all look at the world that way!

3. Greer (1 month off of 3 years): I was just home from the hospital with my youngest - I did what you are not supposed to do and left my newborn with my almost three old for two minutes to go to the kitchen. Upon my return I come back to find him covered in stickers with my eldest saying “look mummy doesn’t he look cute!” He mean while is blissfully asleep….little did he know that this was to become a ritual of hers!

4. Greer (3 ½ years). At present I am working on my positive parenting skills (I have just read a book by Dr. Matthew Sanders) and so far Greer has responded quite well to mummy being calm and positive…but there are times when things slip. When at Georgy’s recently Greer asked for something without using her manners. I was horrified as it is one of the behaviours that I am targeting at the moment (I sound like the police…this week we are blitzing ‘bad manners). I leant over and said “What has happened to your manners?” Greer looks at me shrugs her shoulders and responds “….Apparently they’ve gone!”


5. Greer (3 ½ years): My husband and I are entering the phase of 1001 questions by our three year old. Last weekend she wanted to know “Why don’t we have eyes in the back of our heads?” Good question really because as a mum (and a teacher) I would love to have eyes in the back of my head! I wanted to put on my science teachers hat and go into the whole spiel of homo sapiens having not evolved that way, but as I have tried to explain physics to my daughter before with no success, I decided to keep it simple. I said “people simply don’t have them, but imagine if all the mummy’s in the world had them…I could be looking out the window whilst yelling at you behind me to stop what you are doing!” Greer looked at me and went “I don’t want you to have eyes in the back of your head”……I guess it is like my ‘Thanks Mum’ one day she will want eyes in the back of her head.

How do you do it?

'I don't know how you do it' - this is something I and B have had a number of people mainly women, say to us over the past few years and to tell you the truth, in my case I am not sure how I do it either - in a sort of strange brain fog, in straight survival mode is what I feel like saying - but instead I just shrug and say oh you know, like it is all under control. Well obviously they don't because otherwise why would they ask - how do you balance working in the corporate world with having young children and everything that goes with them.

Now some of you may have heard this catch phrase used a lot if you have read the book I don't know how she does it by Allison Pearson. The book is well worth a read for a laugh and I can relate a little but the book being English (and she has the help of nanny and a cleaner) and the extreme situation the lead works within is not what most of us experience.

Instead if you are like me, an Australian Mum working part time in the Corporate World (in my case technically three days a week) and with two young children in childcare you have slightly different balancing issues.

Or maybe you are like B who did return to work full time when her first child was 18 months. B quickly realised that working full time as a high school teacher and having a small child was a really hard gig – ‘I never got any time with my child as when I got home it was the mad rush to pick up from care, get dinner organised and then get her ready for bed...she wouldn't sleep in her own bed a whole other issue...and then I would sit down and do more hours of work to prep for the next day or mark papers...then there was the after school commitments.....year level information evenings, five parent teach interview nights (yes after working a full day we were expected to rock up and do five hours of back to back parent teacher interviews- and then turn up and teach the next morning)..it got a little too much so I decided to become a librarian! – Anyway now B is working hard towards that while on maternity leave with her second.

So why the brain fog in my case - my little boy has almost been continually sick since I started back at work. The impact of a one year old going into childcare at the start of Winter. So with the almost continual snot goes lack of sleep. Now sleep deprivation when I was at home in the early baby days was bad enough but when I have to then get up, get the kids ready for childcare and go into work where I am expected to have reasonable brain function and coordinate projects is somewhat of an issue. The other issue with the illness has been that my husband and I have ended up taking a lot of time off work. We unfortunately don't have the support of Grandparents (they all live interstate or OS) that some of our friends have. So not only were we exhausted but over this period experienced a bit of strain at work.

Now in the middle of Summer though I feel like I am coming out the other end with sickness and my little girl being four and my little boy now 18 months every thing is getting just that little easier. Maybe I will soon achieve the illusive week of the balance being just right. A week where none of us are sick, I spend good quality time with the kids, all the house work gets done and we have a great social weekend. Actually almost achieved that in the past week but did no exercise and really need a leg wax and a night out with the girls would be nice but almost there!!

Judgement Day

As soon as you announce you are pregnant, that’s it, you might as well wear a sign saying ‘walking target for unwanted advice, comments and judgements’. To make it worse these comments don’t only come from other mothers but people who have never had children, so really how would they know?

It starts with comments on what you should do during pregnancy to discussion about the birthing process – 'you're having an elective C section why'? To then following birth on - breastfeeding, sleeping, routines, dummies, tummy time…..schooling and the list goes on and on.

I found in my case I could handle most of this as I was strong on my decisions but the really hard judgement day hit for me when I returned to work.

‘Gosh I couldn’t go back to work as I couldn’t imagine putting my child in childcare’. ‘Aren’t your children a little young to be in childcare three days a week’. And on the other side, ‘I can understand the work, life, balance thing but I just don’t understand working part time’. Just to list a few.

The barrage of comments really affected me, especially when returning to work after my first, as I had the full on working mothers guilt of not be there for my daughter every day and then on the other side not giving work 100%. There were regular tears when I got home (more from me then ones from my daughter being left at childcare) and the constant thought of quitting work. I am glad I stuck it out though and returned again after a years maternity leave with my second. Two comments that helped me - one office working Mummy friend said to me ‘in my case working outside the home, helps me to be a better Mum when I am at home’ – and another said, ‘why feel guilty, Men never do’ – I do keep telling myself this and it helps, I have felt less guilt the second time around as I knew what to expect but it is still hard.

In B's case she went back to full time work when her litte girl was 18 months and so you can imagine she got a lot of comments especially the ones around 'I don't know how you do it.'

Beck is a high school teacher and while she was on maternity leave with her first child also decided to return to study as quickly realised that teaching and small children would be a really hard gig. She was proven right and there was little understanding. More about that in the next post - 'I don't know how do you do it.'

The other thing that really gets to me is that the majority of the comments were made to us were by other Mum’s. We are no saints but we don’t do this. You have no idea of reasons behind choices and in most cases I like to think they are making the best choice for their situation.

Busting some Mummy Myths

I have recently realised that before children, I really had no idea and had this naive, idealistic view about motherhood. Others told me things, like how sleep deprived they were and I just thought that won't be me, my children will be in a good routine, if I only knew!

The issue now is that I have come back to work into a young team that are in the BC zone. So why should I be surprised when colleagues have commented on me being sick yet again and analysed why, 'hmm maybe, if I got more sleep (which I am extremely lacking) and didn't have two small children (or two Petri dishes for disease) in childcare, I would be feeling a lot better!!

Returning to work and taking in comments made to me, really hit it home for me what I used to think - all these myths and others busted very quickly! Here are just several but there are many more......

1. In general I will be calm, serene, in control, cook lovely meals and bake, do learning games and craft with my children at all times, minimal TV - mantra, serenity now doesn't work!

2. I would breeze back into work after maternity leave, maybe even full time, I mean, why not Men do it - women are different - I really struggled after both children and I work part time – (actually sometimes I think the part time gig is harder but more on that later)

3. If I follow Gina Fords routines in The New Contented Little Baby Book my children will be sleeping through by three months and I will never look back, none of this sleep deprivation for me - routine lasted from week six to seven with my first, gave up after kept getting mastitis and my little girl just wouldn't conform, really stressed me out - with my second child didn't even bother.

4. Again on the sleep - sleep training how hard could it be and if worse comes to worse I will do it and all will be fixed - it is hard, very hard and they don't tell you, how it can break your heart, I was crying too, plus even after putting in the hard yards worked for a month and then stopped - my daughter now nearly four still has bad nights

5. Breast is best - I will breastfeed until I go back to work - fairly much did with my first through four bouts of mastitis (what was I thinking) but with the second he never seemed to get enough, unsettled and I suffered postnatal - all this improved once I moved to the bottle at four months - so no, breast is not always best! Both B and I suffered postnatal (B after her first and me with the second) which is something we will talk about in a later post – but believe me from this perspective bottle is best!

6. No dummies - this mantra lasted all of four days with my first and she had it until she was three

7. And one on top of these for B - I will never let my children eat hot chips when I go out or suck on the sugar sticks ( I now only go to cafes with sugar sticks so I can have five minutes of peace!).....

And following on from the comment above, I could never have imagined how little sleep and how many bugs I would get in the first six months after returning to work –having a child starting childcare. Lets just say I had never had gastro in my life and then got it four times within the first year of my daughter being in childcare.(B - I also view gastro as part of my dieting regime!!!! All I need is a good bout to kick start this diet!) With my son it has been the chest colds. Fun, fun, fun!

What we are about

'Your generation just think you can have it all' a comment I have heard aimed at us 30 something Mummies time and again and yes they are right B and I are certainly going to try.

Children, family, career, house (buying the perfect one and renovating another), travel, study, exercise, great social life and mmm what else can we throw in there. We are women after all and can multi-task; the question is how many things at once, without something crashing (preferably not ourselves) or magically getting more hours in the day?

Though technically we have achieved the second, considering we are getting less sleep with two young children waking at all sorts of hours during the night, we do have more awake time, maybe we should jog up and down while settling the kids or send off a few work e-mails at three in the morning - yeah right! Best laid plans and all that - with the constant brain fog from lack of sleep we are already struggling to do these things during the day. But we will push on and try and prove that good work, life, balance is not a thing of legend for the working Mum - we will get this balancing act right or at least have a lot of fun sharing the struggle and our observations with you all in this blog.

Oh by the way B and I had all intention of exercising, getting the kids out in the pram for some fresh air and brainstorming for this blog to start with a fantastic show of doing it all at once but instead lumped the kids with the hubbies and went into a lovely quite room with the laptop and glass of wine - after all have to fit in me time as well.